One year, and counting

It has been one year, as of yesterday, since Ken said his last "I love you" to me, and slipped quietly into sleep and away from me. Sometimes I am not sure how I made it through this last year without him, though I know that my family and friends had a great deal to do with that! I still miss him every single day, though the tears are better hidden. I still have a HUGE hole in my heart, though the pain is better hidden. I got home from class today, got out of the car, struggling to carry three bags (two of which were full of stuff I baked today, plus my chef uniform, my note book, camera, etc), my water bottle, and my car and house keys, managed to balance everything (with difficulty) got into the house, and just ended up in tears. I have not felt as alone, as I did today, in a long time - juggling bags, bottle, keys, by myself, letting myself into the house. If Ken were here, that would never happen. He would be the first one out the door to carry everything for me. I would not even have to unlock the door - it would be unlocked and he would be waiting for me. God, I miss him so much! I hate that he is not with me. No more for today. I can't type any more without crying.

I hope the rest of you are having a good day though... every day.