Managing PAIN!

What is it about men that they think that it is OK to be in physical pain? Why do they think that they have to handle the pain without meds? Do they think it makes them more heroic? Especially when we are talking about "blow your head off" type pain? Not just the common or garden variety of "Ooooh I stubbed my toe" pain!

When pain killers are available, so many different types of them too, why would anyone want to unnecessarily suffer pain? I mean, I get some pretty mean migraines. But, I have learned to identify WHEN these migraines are coming on, and immediately take the necessary meds to stop the migraine before it becomes full blown. If I make the mistake of thinking that a good nights sleep will help and thereby NOT take the meds, I can be pretty sure that by the next morning I WILL have a full blown migraine, and it takes much longer then for the meds to take affect. Why should I suffer needlessly? And, maybe because of this, and the fact that I try my best to avoid those activities that trigger my migraine attacks, I have been getting fewer and fewer migraines as I have gotten older. Maybe I'm just lucky?

As to my husband - well he suffers from incredibly terrible pain in the spinal bones, just above the coccyx. Specifically in S1 & S2, ie, the 1st two bones in the area of the spine known as the sacrum. Basically it is from cancer that metastasised to the spine. He has colon cancer and it is NOT normal for colon cancer to spread to the spine WITHOUT any spread to the soft organs (ie, kidney, liver, lungs)... but my husband has managed to do that - he is a 1 in a million type of person in more ways than one! His soft organs are all clean... but the spine has got cancer.. and he suffers a great deal of pain when sitting or lying down. He has been taking various pain killers, as recommended by the oncologist, but nothing seemed to TAKE AWAY the pain. At the most, it would just dull the edge. So, finally, after much argument, we went to the pain management specialist, and we got different (stronger) meds, and instructions on how to adjust the dosage.

So, you would think - well, Hallelujah, good for you! BUT, NO, not husband. He takes a couple of doses (we figured out that the lowest dose is good for 2 hours), and decides to skip the next dose and just "be a hero" and tough it out. I reminded him - take the next dose at this specific time... and he goes "No, I don't need it."

Guess what happens next? Yep, you got it... 1 hour past the time when he SHOULD have taken the next dose, he is in agony and he is in tears from the pain. I asked him "WHY DO YOU DO THIS TO YOURSELF?"... and he says (still in tears) "Because I am f****** stupid". I told him to replace the word "stupid" with "stubborn" and that would be the right answer. Hmmm, mind you, maybe he should take both "stupid" AND "stubborn"... and that would be the right answer!

SO, what do you think? Should pain be 'managed' or 'tolerated'? I think pain should be managed, so that nobody has to suffer needlessly.... but then, that's just my point of view.