Last day of the last year that I had Ken in my life

I woke up this morning with that thought (the title of this blog posting) running through my mind :-(. Not a happy thought I am afraid, but I cannot help it. It has not yet been a year since Ken died, and, Yes, emotions are a lot 'calmer' now. I don't spend every night in tears, I can get through most days without crying, I can even get through at LEAST one week where I do not cry when I think of Ken. I can talk about him with family and friends - mostly when we are reminiscing and I say things like "Oh yes, Ken liked this.. or that... or did this... or that." My two youngest nephews still agree that Uncle Ken made THE best apple crumble and THE best roast beef and THE best leg of lamb :-). BUT every time I hear music or songs that Ken loved, every time I hear the lyrics of a song that reflect the feelings Ken and I had for each other, every time I watch a sappy movie and one of the characters says something that hits a chord in me (which happens fairly often in sappy movies!), I cry. And since the only time I really listen to music of any kind is when I am driving, this can make driving somewhat "iffy" at times :-p.

But, Yes, I know, I know - Ken would not want me to be unhappy or miserable. He always loved that I am such an optimistic and cheerful person, and he would be angry if I did not continue like that. So, I am doing my best. And I think I am doing OK.

So... I can hear some of you asking, what next? Am I looking for a job? Have I started working yet? Am I going to stay in KL or move to SG? WHAT am I going to do with my life?

Welllllllll... Yes, I have decided what I am going to do - at least for the next one year of my life. And it is NOT to go back into my normal line of work. I figured I am still young enough to do something completely different, and I should do this while I still have the ENERGY to do something completely different.... SO, I am making a change in my life.

WHAT is that change? Well, I won't tell you YET! Let me get started on it, and then you will know all :-). Till then folks, I'm afraid you are going to have to stay in suspense, have a WONDERFUL, BLESSED New Year, and have a great day, EVERY day of the year ahead.