The peace after the 'storm'

I think I am finally coming to accept that Ken is gone and though it is still hurtful, and can still hit really hard at times (particularly when I hear certain songs!), I find myself more at ease inside myself than I have been since he died. And it is no longer a forced 'smiling front' that I put up in front of family and friends. It is even when I am on my own. I still talk to him, but with no tears now. I was talking to a new friend yesterday, telling her about Ken, and I found I could tell her the circumstances without crying! So, my period of suspended animation is coming to an end! Now to get my act together and make a few firm decisions about what I REALLY want to do!

I mean, do I really want to go back to work in the first place?
Actually, this is an easy one to answer - Yes, I do....

The next question is harder: WHAT do I want to do? Do I really want to go back to my normal line of work? If Yes, do I want to get back into that stress? Into the long hours? Into the headaches? Hmmm, and if the answers are still YES, then is there a job out there for me, paying me what I expect to get? Especially since, globally, the overall economy is not doing that well! Europe is still potentially heading into a melt-down with the situation in Greece and other debt-ridden EU members. And let's not kid ourselves that the situation in Europe will not affect Asia! Of course it will!

So... do I want to go into something new? Do I want to take up baking more seriously, on a small scale anyway - breads, cakes, tarts, cookies, etc. I have found that I am a reasonably good baker - at least in terms of the taste of the things I make. I cannot say my 'decor' is great - it is serviceable, and that is the best I can say about it! But, I think, for most of us, unless the item being made is for a special occasion (which is when we want it to look AMAZING), we are more concerned about the taste than the look... and, yes, what I make DOES taste pretty good.

Or do I just switch into a simpler office based job, in KL, where I can have a more relaxed life, get paid enough to cover monthly expenses, and just be able to get out of the house daily, make new friends, and keep myself busy.

I think I will give myself another couple of months to see if I CAN get a job in my normal industry. In parallel, while looking, I will continue to bake, and if anyone has any interest in ordering any breads or cakes from me, well, let me know!

And, in summary, here are the various things I have made in the last one month:
Choc chip cookies; oatmeal/date cookies; spicy cheese cookies; lemon cream tart; lemon mirroire cake; opera cake; caramel chocolate cake; moist choc cakes with coffee butter cream filling and choc ganache topping; Fraisier; Banoffee pie; . And, of course, BREADS - the usual low-GI multi grain loafs; raisin buns; plain white loaf; etc.

So, till next time, have a good day, every day.